Hello! Project Ranking 2017

Yes I decided it’s high time to do another ranking post using this ranker. It’s been a year since the last one and in that time Tsubaki have had their major label debut, new members have been added to Tsubaki & Momusu and Country Girls have bedded into my consciousness some more. This ranking will also show my biases once C-ute graduate. So onto the results…

1. Nakajima Saki

Well no surprises here. I don’t switch allegiances really. Ai-chan was my favourite for years then Nacky took over once Ai graduated. Nacky is beautiful, sweet, caring, funny and fishy. She is a warm-hearted sole. You codn’t ask for any more than that. If you disagree you will be herring from my solicitors. It would be impossible for another idol to knock her off her perch. I won’t keep carping on though.

2. Yajima Maimi

Again no surprises. The most stunningly beautiful idol you could meet. Great personality, great looks and perfect leader.

3. Hamaura Ayano

Soon to be the Queen. I’ve followed her since her Kenshuusei days and it feels so satisfying to see her doing so well. She’s so in love with being an idol and that love really shines through. She’s also funny, talented and cute. Perfect!

4. Suzuki Airi

Soon there’ll be no Airi in H!P. It feels strange to think that. Weirdly it’s even stranger than there being no Nacky or Maimi. I mean Airi was the singing Queen. She had the most work what with Buono too. Still she has been fantastic. The talent she has is matched completely by the charm of her personality. That’s rare. Very rare. We’ve all been blessed by her presence.

5. Ishida Ayumi

Not long now and Ayumi will be number 2. She’ll be an even bigger boat. I like my sea-dwelling idols. Ayumi’s smile, her expressions, her great performances and her stunning aura make her damn near the perfect idol. That Daaishi feeling is addictive.

6. Ozeki Mai

Tough choice between 6th and 7th but Mai has just edged it. I can’t quite put my finger on it but there’s something about her that just makes me want to support her. She doesn’t look like the typical idol type and her personality isn’t the in-your-face type so maybe that’s it. She is somehow a bit different. Funny and likeable with her own unique aura.

7. Nomura Minami

Nomnom is incredibly upbeat and damn adorable. Her expressive face when performing is sheer joy. She’s like the perfect little sister type. Positive, pretty and full of sunshine. Perfect idol qualities.

8. Asakura Kiki

Shock. Even to me. Well I decided when doing the ranker that draws weren’t allowed. I guess then that this is pretty accurate. Tsubaki have grown on me a little recently but Kiki a lot. She seems like she’s permanently on another plane but in a really beautiful way. She really stands out in Tsubaki but she’d stand out in any group. She’s charming and beautiful and she’s wondering if she left the iron on? Did she lock the front door? Is today Tuesday?

9. Iikubo Haruna

Honey finally got a photobook. Great to see. I always get the feeling Haruna is a little overlooked or undervalued amongst H!P fans but she’s got so many good qualities. She has good looks, a happy, easy-going personality and lots of charm. When you love seeing an idol in PV’s or on TV shows or whatever it’s a sign of how magnetic they are. I’m a bee when it comes to Honey.

10. Haga Akane


I surprised myself again. To be honest Akane grew on me when I watched a fun birthday event FC DVD. That was only a few months ago. Well what’s not to like in an idol that looks a little like Sayu, is great with kids (watch the DVD) and who seems like a fun, happy girl?

11. Onoda Saori

Talk about a fast rise (ooer). I only started paying proper attention to Tsubaki about a month ago when I watched some DVD Magazines of theirs. Nacchispock immediately caught my attention. And not just because her ears blocked out the sun. She’s got that aura that the best idols have. So much presence without even having to say much. I think she has the potential to go far. I’d certainly expect her to rise in my ranking over the next year. She’s the kind of idol who has a special quality that makes you want to throw money at her. Also house keys and fluffy toys.

12. Taguchi Natsumi

Taguchi is a little weirdo. She acts like she’s half crybaby and half hoodlum. She’s very entertaining. Kobushi members tend to be very upbeat and energetic. They are always goofing around. Taguchi is the goofiest of all though. It’s an appealing quality.

13. Inoue Rei

Rei was one of the first ones I noticed in Kobushi Factory but she fell by the wayside a little. To be fair she is in a really strong group though and she’s easy to like. She adds strength in depth.

14. Oda Sakura

Okay I’m surprised Oda is that low down. Well she’s still someone I admire a lot. She’s a good performer and she’s got a serious but slyly fun personality. Again, like with Rei, she’s a strong idol adding strength to a strong group.

15. Nonaka Miki

Miki speaks English so she’s great. Actually I’m being facetious. Obviously her English language skills make her appealing to a lot of foreigners but she’s an easy idol to like anyway. She has a friendly aura and seems a little different to most idols.

16. Morito Chisaki

*Idol shown less cute and more “hello you’ve grown up haven’t you” than usual*

Well she is really cute. That seems like a good enough reason to like her.

17. Funaki Musubu

Well she is kind of cute and completely fucking weird. That seems a good enough reason to like her.

18. Hirose Ayaka

Kobushi are a great group. So many great members. Even being as low as 18th is no insult. Ayaka is definitely in the “group of idols I really like” section rather than the indifference section or worse. She’s another idol with a pleasing aura.

19. Takeuchi Akari

*Idol shown a bit more weird than usual. By Angerme standards that’s still well in the normal zone though*

Number one in Angerme. Towards the lower half of the table. Well that’s about right. She’s spirited and competitive and fun though.

20. Miyamoto Karin

Number one in Juice=Juice. Lower half of…well again that’s about right. Karin is beautiful (for a cat) and her popularity is easy to understand. She is certainly someone with a lot of appeal. Maybe if I found Juice=Juice more interesting I’d see her more and she’d be higher.

21. Ogata Haruna

Well we are in the okay section now. The idols who seem alright but haven’t grabbed my attention much. Ogata Haruna could rise however. She’s very pretty and seems likeable enough. I haven’t really had that much exposure to her though, despite her being in Momusu quite sometime already.

22. Makino Maria

In many ways see number 21.

23. Tsugunaga Momoko

Well if she’d never been in Berryz I’d probably like her more. She’s fun in Country Girls. Even so I just can’t quite forgive her for that hair and that personality while in Berryz. She’s a little like fingernails on a blackboard. I mean just brief fingernails, not a really long screeeeeech. Still a bit urgh though. And yet also a bit likeable. She’s annoying and funny.

24. Ikuta Erina

I still get the feeling she’s phoning in her career. But, well there are far worse idols out there and I do still find her oddly appealing.

25. Murota Mizuki

I like her purely because she reminds me a bit of Junjun. Also she’s in Angerme but seems sane.

26. Wada Ayaka

Most of Angerme seem to me to be cat ladies-in-waiting. Dawa is kind of getting more weird as she gets older. Watching her mannerisms really gives me cat lady vibes. Still perfectly likeable though.

27. Kudo Haruka

Not sure why she is so low. I like her a lot yet she’s below Eripon. She’s solid and I like her attitude but I guess she’s not really favourite material for me.

28. Fujii Rio

Fujii is funny and has good taste in idols. She adds an extra layer of humour to the already pretty funny Kobushi.

29. Hagiwara Mai

Duck Quack Alien is quite low down considering my love of C-ute but you know, she’s okay. I wish her luck in her future career working in a shop or whatever.

30. Yamaki Risa

She seems nice. Umm…that’s okay. She’s likeable enough.

31. Wada Sakurako

There’s nothing wrong with Sakurako but in Kobushi terms she’s solid filler. I wouldn’t like the group without her but I probably wouldn’t notice if she left..

32. Yokoyama Reina

Most idols want to perform at Yokoyama Arena. It’s a good venue and I’m glad H!P purchased it and gave it to Morning Mus…what? Oh…it’s a person? Ah. Well it’s early days then. She is probably okay. She looks cute enough and everything.

33. Fukumura Mizuki

Solid idol just like potatoes are solid accompaniment to a roast dinner. No I barely have any clue what I’m talking about either. I guess I’m saying I like potatoes, I want potatoes, but I want chicken or turkey more. Still she’s a fellow wota so I like that side of her.

34. Yanagawa Nanami

Okay we are sort of getting into not much of a clue territory. In Country Girls I barely notice her. That’s a group with a strong set of members though.

35. Ono Mizuho

She seems quite normal by Tsubaki standards and quite pretty. Tsubaki are only just starting to make an impression on me though.

36. Miyazaki Yuka

Juice=Juice don’t really stand out much to me. She’s attractive but really I’ve barely paid the group any attention at all since they formed.

37. Takagi Sayuki

See 36.

38. Okai Chisato

Well…being last out of C-ute is nothing to be ashamed of. C-ute are great. Being 38th out of all of H!P isn’t so good though. Well I don’t dislike her or anything. She’s a good singer. I’m just not that interested in her personality. She’s a strong performer mind you.

39. Aikawa Maho

Even though, like most of Angerme, she seems like a cat lady she also has something unique about her. I think I could like her more if I spent time actually following her (perhaps I should dress as a cat). It’s not good when idols have to leave for health reasons so I hope she can comeback sometime. I think H!P management will give her time to get better. I’m sure any decision that gets made afterwards will be based on what’s best for her. I’d like to be able to see her career develop more. I hope for her fans and for her that’s a chance that comes.

40. Sayashi Riho (for some reason)

Riho is still in H!P? Well she was okay.

41. Kaga Kaede

Too new really and slightly fierce looking.

42. Ogawa Rena

Also slightly fierce looking.

43. Kanazawa Tomoko

Also slightly…wait…I see a pattern.

44. Ogata Risa

Another Tsubaki member who seems quite attractive and normal. Probably secretly a serial killer then. Otherwise why is she in Tsubaki? What’s her secret?

45. Mitsui Aika (for some reason)

*Idol pictured with best ever idol for comparison purposes*

She’s sweet really. She’s not an idol though. Even when she was I’d rather she wasn’t. Likeable as a person however.

46. Tanimoto Ami

Tsubaki are starting to be noticeable. I liked their Uruwashi no Camellia single and I watched some DVD Magazines and they are starting to ge into my psyche. Not really Ami though. Mainly Kiki and Saori. But time can change things.

47. Uemura Akari

Juice=Juice don’t really appeal that much. I’m sure she’s perfectly fine and everything but my attention is generally elsewhere.

50. Kamikokuryo Moe

Cat lady. There’s a lot of them about. She doesn’t really appeal to me.

51. Sasaki Rikako

Well she went down my ranking quite rapidly. I blame watching the H!P DVD Magazine Vol. 52. The fun sports festival one. She just somehow really irritated me. Calm down!

52. Yamagishi Riko

Turtle-chan. I’m sure she’s perfectly fine. She’ll probably grow on me and live to be 200 or something.

53.  Niinuma Kisora

Yeah…well…meh I guess? Sorry!

54. Kishimoto Yumeno

I can’t shake the feeling that she comes from Brooklyn and is related to Tony Danza.

55. Sato Masaki

Just say no kids. Just say no.

56. Nakanishi Kana

The worst of the cat ladies. I mean I don’t hate her. That’d be ridiculous. She’s just an idol trying to entertain. I just can’t shake the feeling there are so many better potential idols out there. For starters every single Kenshuusei member of the past five years except Momohime.

57. Katsuta Rina

The “puts the cat in the bin and is caught on CCTV” lady. Basically see above. There’s very little separating them.

And that’s my ranking. Please remember if you have been affected by any of the issues discussed tonight please seek help…somewhere else. 😉


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