MornHNNNG Musume ’14 Alo-Hello 7 review

Hello, good evening and welcome to the first post in this, my second blog. Yes Morningtime the first sadly ran out of space so I am continuing my blogging exploits here. In case you have never seen my old blog it’s here. Anyway what better way to start a new blog than with idols in bikinis? No, wait, stop! This is a respectable blog that looks in-depth at all the important topics of the day. Topics like what does Ayumi look like in a bikini? (answer: An evil hungry shark). What does Sayumi look like in a bikini? (Answer: ) And of course, err…what does Kanon look like in a bikini? (Answer: Not fat actually so there!) So yes this is a blog that looks at all the major issues. There’ll be no humour, no cheap shots and nobody reading. Okay two of those three statements are definite lies. I’m hoping the third is too but time will tell. So without further waffle it’s time for some picspam! Please note that I won’t be giving spoilers as to the winners of any games that the idols played so it’s safe to read without spoiling your enjoyment of the actual DVD/Blu-ray.

So the Blu-ray starts with a three minute section that some might see as Porning Musume but I just see as beautiful girls having fun. But it’s all in the eye of the beholder. I go with the positive perv approach. There’s nothing wrong with admiring beauty and besides what are people supposed to wear on a hot beach? Others might go with an “OH MY GOD IT’S ALL WRONG YOU CAN SEE STOMACHS AND EVERYTHING. ARGHHHHH” kind of approach. In which case you might want to look away…NOW! (Oh and go jump off a cliff too).

So first off it’s the girls all high-fiving the camera woman (Sayumi).

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Now that’s what I call a selfie. Being a H!P camerawoman is a nice job if you can get it. Maybe Sayu is angling for the job full-time now she has time on her hands to truly worship Riho. All that learning of dance moves and stuff must really have interfered with her ogling time previously.

After the high-fiving comes a little section where they dance around a lot and playfully push each member out of frame so they can do a mock falling over into camerashot solo thing.

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Tomboy-chan has a sudden Yossie look in her eyes.

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Riho with Sayu presumably just out of shot.

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Ayumi has a happy “I’m gonna so eat you” type of evil look about her. Damn sexy!

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Sakura is blossoming nicely. >.>

Also looking nice is Kanon…

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Meanwhile auntie Masaki is looking, well…

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She’s looked worse.

What? Oh okay…

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Seriously though I just can’t get middle-aged auntie out of my head. She looks like my Auntie Brenda. Similar face shape and hair.

Haruna meanwhile is all charming…

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Eripon is…still in Morning Musume apparently. Not that you’d notice…

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Mizuki is now leader. I hope she keeps abreast of things and that it doesn’t all go tits up for her. It’s a great opportunity when you have a big job at the forefront. Sure she’ll have her knockers but you have to be big and bold. And of course when you are leader you can say or do the wrong thing very easily. I’m sure there’ll be the odd boob but hopefully she’ll put on a brave front…

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Some dancing. Yay for dancing. Dance! Dance!

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Then finally it’s time for Sayu’s close-up. The last Alo-Hello Momusu DVD with Sayu. But don’t be downhearted. Just gaze upon her ceauty. Is that not a word? It should be! Cute and beautiful = ceauty! That’s sayu!

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Following the beach it’s time for the members to have a quick chat. Seemingly while dressed in schoolie sports clothing. A bit random but I guess there are games up and coming so whatever.

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Then it’s time for some hula-hooping with food to be won…

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Make your own jokes up. I refuse!

Well if you like idol hip shaking it’s the DVD for you.

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Later it’s time to try and not push an idol on a skateboard into the water…for food. The further you get the more food Suzuki can eat. Aw shit. I hate myself. She’s not fat!

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Next it’s time to put the shrimp on the barbie and tuck in. As the members prepare to eat Sayu suddenly remembers she’s sharing a hotel room with Riho…

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Really got no idea what that last pic is all about. Sure I could make jokes about reliving the audition process but I won’t!

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(shrugs). Honestly I’m not trying to take funny caps it’s just Momusu 14 are all…a little odd.

Meanwhile BiggerBoat is struggling with eating seafood in front of the others. She’s trained herself so hard to hide her secret so suddenly to be eating her natural prey in public must be quite confusing…

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There then follows an individual members solo image type section…

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I have to say Ayumi as ayummy!

Masaki is still eating…

Masaki

Oh okay…

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Following all that meaningful gazing it’s time to head to the beach for some fun and games.

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There’s flag racing which is always fun to watch!

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Then there’s some weird inflatables battle thing…

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Ayumi! Totally feeling Ayumi vibes now. Why has it taken this long? Eat me! Eat me!

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Following the beach it’s back to the meaningful gazing. I promise no Masaki jokes this time…

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Sorry I meant to say “no Masaki or jokes this time”.

After the gazing it’s time for more fun and what could be better than fun in the pool? Not a lot. This is totally what these DVDs should be about!

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Then it’s more eating. This is a lot like the good old days of Alo-Hello’s before they became all instrumental.

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There’s also time for rest and relaxation…

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Well at least until someone gets hold of Sayu’s phone and sees the videos she’s secretly been taking. >.>

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Riho there thinking “if Sayu comes near me tonight…”

As the day draws to a close they sit around a campfire and Masaki does an impression of a pineapple…

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See? Pineapple!

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To finish there’s some solo posing/having fun in water bits…

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And there ends an hour and three quarters of bliss. In the past few years I’ve complained a few times about how boring image DVDs are. Alo-Hello’s used to be entertaining when the members travelled around sightseeing and shopping or else played fun games together. To just make image DVDs where they never speak, or when they do it’s brief and kind of bland standard stuff about the shoot, is to waste the great personalities these idols have. It’s not showing them to their full potential. Well in this DVD we have a compromise. There are still image type sections but they are quite brief and fit in nicely as little breathers in-between the fun segments. A short change of pace and style. The rest of the DVD is fun games or else seeing the members eating and generally hanging out together. It’s great to watch. It’s the best Momusu Alo-Hello since 8-nin Momusu played beach volleyball. It feels like finally the ninth, tenth and Oda gen get to show off who they are. Oh and hello Ayumi. She looks stunning throughout and is a charming little maneater. Sorry I mean man-eating sea-dweller.

So this release gets a huge thumbs up from me. It’s a great final DVD for Sayu to have too. She actually gets to speak one last time rather than just stand there looking pretty. I mean it’s not like she ever got many lines in songs so it’s nice she gets her voice heard some more. 😛 Great DVD. Great group. A must-watch!

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11 responses to “MornHNNNG Musume ’14 Alo-Hello 7 review

  1. Lovely! I really want to watch this now.

    The funniest bits of your post were Riho holding the fork and the knife and Maachan doing an impression of a pineapple. Well, you heard me laugh out loud. 🙂

    Good luck to your new blog, I hope you get even more readers than before!

    Like

  2. My favourite part: “Riho with Sayu presumably just out of shot.” XD
    Congrats on a new blog! Damn, I need to update my blogroll again. It was a really interesting post. I see we share similar views on image DVDs. Who watches them anyway?! This DVD seems quite good but I think that without your commentary it’s still boring 😀
    I still find the underage girls running in their bikinis to be disturbing. I can make fun of it but it bothers me. There’s nothing wrong with teenagers in bikinis. But if you film a DVD with teenagers in bikinis than it begins to be a problem. Especially, since we all know how lax the Japanese law is about child pornography. I don’t know. It’s just so close to the line. I mean, can you NOT notice Kanon’s boobs? Those are huge! I think being a teacher and having a sister close to her age changed my perspective :/

    Like

  3. The image DVDs are like, better than nothing. I mean I’d rather have an image dvd of Nacky than no dvd of Nacky but it’s still a total waste of an idol. If you’re going to travel somewhere with an idol you may as well have them doing interesting things. It gives them a chance to show off their personalities. The silent DVDs are just a bit weird. “Shh. Don’t talk. I just want to look at you. For an hour. While you say nothing. No! Don’t speak. Just look nice. Be silent. Shh.” It sort of reduces the idol to a physical object. But like I said I’d rather have a dvd of an idol looking nice than no dvd at all.

    Kabobs only 16. Okay I mistyped (damn phone). Lucky it wasn’t Kaboobs. O-o Anyway what I was going to say before I so rudely interrupted myself was Kanon’s only 16 but I always forget this as she kind of looks a lot older and has been around so long. It surprised me when I just checked her age. Anyway that’s kind of besides the point.
    I guess there is always that section of society that likes really young girls but to be fair I think Momusu are already too old for them anyway. >.> I don’t know though. I mean it’s in the eye of the beholder. I don’t think they are supposed to be looked at in an aggressively sexual way and I don’t think most fans would look at them in that way but there will always be someone that will. Personally I am so used to seeing these DVDs that it doesn’t even occur to me how old they are. I might joke about idols in bikinis but really I admire the idols in a non-creepy kind of way. I admire them for their personalities as much as their looks (actually way more than for their looks) but I can understand where you are coming from. Mind you if Japan has such a problem with young porn then the people into it will be watching it instead of this dvd anyway. O-o Really though it’s in the eye of the beholder. You can appreciate beauty, even beauty in teenagers, without it being seedy. But some will be seedy anyway. I kind of just think, well screw them. But I do understand where you are coming from. I personally don’t see a problem with this DVD though. They don’t pose in a way that’s suggestive and don’t act in a way that is in any way demeaning to them. If anything the dvd is a good thing as here we have beautiful girls in bikinis and they aren’t acting like sex objects. Instead they are showing off their personalities while just having fun. It’s like an antidote to any sleazy DVDs out there. It actually says to the viewer “yes these girls are in bikinis but look how they act! They aren’t sex objects but real people with fully rounded personalities (except Masaki).” So to summarise for those who love the idols in good ways the dvd isn’t a problem as they will just watch and admire the whole idol (better than watching some other DVDs and admiring other hol…no I won’t go there). For dirty types looking for a cheap jerk-off fantasy the DVD says “hey! We are real people with real personalities. We don’t act like your typical bimbo fantasies. We just have fun doing normal beach stuff”. Maybe that will open the eyes of your typical sleazy guy or gal. Does that work as a defence? Do I at least get a prize for genius thinking? XD

    Like

  4. Congrats on the new blog! Aloha, Morningtime1. o7
    …And guess who else is on the “change the blogroll” train? lol

    Well, I don’t usually pay attention to stuff like this, but it was still a good read. A nice perspective into a new installment in the Alo-Hello series, especially given the significance of the subject. (I also like how while you pointed out the fanservicey, gravure-ish nature of the image DVDs, you didn’t dwell on it and instead focused on its topic: the girls — and their personalities.)

    Regardless, a good opening post to a blog that has nothing but a good future. I’ll make sure of that!

    Like

    • Hi Magikat. Long time no see. And thanks for the comment.
      Yeah I have to say the image DVDs have been the one thing I haven’t liked at all in recent years. This DVD though gives the members a chance to show off their actual personalities.
      I hope this blog at least gives some entertainment in future years. When I started the last blog I never thought I’d be going so long I’d run out of space.

      Like

      • The act of blogging entails some extent of venturing into the unknown with little regard or knowledge of what the future holds. This only means that you’ve stuffed the old blog with a lot content.

        Like

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